That Gorram Dress
by evafreed
Summary: Jaylee. Kaylee's been preoccupied with the doctor lately, and Jayne isn't getting a lot of interest. He decides to remedy this by taking his friend out- and discovers just how nice Kaylee looks in a dress.


**That Gorram Dress**

**By Evafreed**

**(Prompt #47 [Heart] in the 100 fic challenge)**

_1/100_

**A/N: **Oh my god, it's not slash. Anyways, I've decided to try to crack the 100 fic challenge again, and Jayne and Kaylee called to me all romantic-like, and I just had to write this as my first fiction. I used a random number generator for the prompt, and it was tough to make it fit in some places. By the way, official Jaylee song: I'm a Pirate, You're a Princess, by Analog Rebellion. Or maybe not. But whatever. This is dedicated to Jess, but she's getting another one whenever I get around to writing Andrew/Spike. Love you babe.

"Eugh." Kaylee breathes, getting on her knees to peer at the softly pulsating heart, safely contained inside the glass jar. Tapping her fingers on the edge, she seems as though she half expects it to startle, like a fish, and swim around its jar. Simon looks over at her, giving a little half smile at her playfulness, and all Jayne can do is cross his arms, glare, and think about how Simon doesn't deserve her.

He doesn't deserve her giggles, he doesn't deserve to make her laugh, and he sure as hell don't deserve to make her cry. And he's the one who brought her to this- museum of horrors, this medical oddities research lab, this skewed date-like atmosphere, and he ain't even bothering to show her around. Jayne fumes.

"That idiot pretty boy done think he's too good for Kaylee." He confides to Wash, who is staring at Zoe's breasts and a deformed pig fetus in turn.

"Yes, and you think you'd be better." Wash states wearily. "I know."

"Well, yeah." Jayne scoffs, but his face falls when he sees the gentle way Simon touches the back of Kaylee's hand. "No. But he ain't even kissed her. It ain't too late for us to-" He trails off despairingly, hating the puppy dog way Kaylee lusts after Simon. Hating the way Simon shakes off her hand on his elbow, lips moving wordlessly, though the shouts carry. But most of all, he hates that gorram heart, that gorram organ, that Kaylee casts her eyes back on when she's trying not to cry. A single tear slips down her cheek.

"Looks like someone lost his temper." Wash observes, speaking softly.

"Oh, he's about to lose a lot more then that. One moment." Jayne growls, stalking over to where Kaylee has her arms wrapped around herself. Wash shrugs and resumes his observations.

As he approaches her, Kaylee hastily wipes the tears out of her eyes with one grease encrusted sleeve. "Gross, huh?" She says, gesturing to the pulsating organ.

"Yup." Jayne says, then: "Listen, Kaylee, if that man is too much of a ruttin' idiot to actually care for you, you shouldn't be leaping through every gorram hoop he puts up for you, and-"

Kaylee turns her face away, ashamed. And in that moment, Jayne wishes he had the downright guts to hug her. Little Kaylee was always rushing around, embracing someone or other, but that just wasn't something a big mercenary like himself did on a daily basis. "Aw, Jayne, I don't really want to talk about it. Can we just go back to_ Serenity_? She's probably lonely."

"Naw, the captain's with her, and 'sides, the freak stays on the ship 'most always."

"Jayne." Kaylee always knows how to reprimand him with just a look and an utterance of his name, and he falls silent now.

"Look, I thought if you're still all torn up over the pretty boy doctor, you and I could go have some fun." Jayne continues gruffly, crossing his muscular arms over his stomach. She looked at the ground, tears still welling up in the sides of her eyes. "Hey." Jayne says, slightly more soft. "Hey. You're Kaylee. No power in the 'verse is gonna stop you from being cheerful. Right?"

Kaylee looks up at him, smiling slightly. "You got it. So, what were you thinkin', Mr. Cobb?" She asks playfully, linking arms with him.

"Er-" He stammered slightly. Jayne wasn't really used to the feeling of a girl touching him in a way that didn't make him feel like the Shepard might boil his john thomas if he ever found out.

"Can we go look at pretty things?" Kaylee begs, pulling Jayne towards yet another frilly set of cake dresses. The bright pastel colors make Jayne roll his eyes. Kaylee looks at him expectantly, and Jayne grumbles, but complies.

"Do you want to try on some dresses, _mei mei._" He growls in a monotone, bending to those dark, pleading eyes. Kaylee giggles, and it's a damn sight more pleasing then when she giggles for the gorram pretty boy doctor.

Kaylee briskly chooses her frilly dresses, smiling as the pretty ladies escort her to a changing room. The women in the store are looking at him funny, in his grease stained cargo pants and army jacket, and Jayne gruffly crosses his arms and waits for Kaylee.

When she emerges, she's grinning broadly. Jayne loves the way that smile lights up her whole gorram face, reaches her eyes and lightens them, eases the creases around her temples, makes that cute nose perk up even more. Then he looks at the dress and Jayne Cobb thinks no more. For sweet, innocent little Kaylee had been outfitted in a dress that puts the common whore to shame. Pale blue fabric dotted with polka dots and ending with lace starts at Kaylee's bust and ends mid thigh, poofing out gently. The pink bow tied around her waist ain't made of the cheap poleyster she usually wears- this is a real ladies dress.

Jayne's mouth hangs slack and Kaylee smiles awkwardly, tucking a stray piece of wavy hair behind an ear. Legs. Gorram, when did sweet little Kaylee get _legs_? "Jayne? Am I pretty?" She asks hesitantly, rocking back and forth in her bare feet.

"Girl, you- I- gorram it, yes." He breathes, getting up and walking around her in a circle to get the full view. Kaylee flushes and pushes her dress down. "Y-yeah, it's a nice dress, ain't it?" She says wistfully, fingering the price tag.

And before he knows what he's saying, the words just rush out of Jayne's mouth. "I'll buy it for ya, Kaylee."

Her eyes sparkle, and for a moment Jayne thinks she's about to start crying again. They don't get a lot of pay or luxuries aboard _Serenity_, money is hard and Jayne knows Kaylee's been wearing the same three pairs of overalls the past eight years.

"You- you really mean it?" Kaylee squeals, and goes to hug him, before realizing that she's still wearing the fancy dress. She draws back awkwardly.

"A dress like that ain't meant to go to a common whore. It's meant for a right pretty girl." Jayne realizes suddenly that the entire population of the store is staring at him with anger. "He don't mean it." Kaylee says hastily, still beaming at Jayne.

When Kaylee changes out of the dress and proudly brings it up to the counter, Jayne still winces at the price, but draws the coin bag out of his pocket and pays all the same. When he's done, and once the box is safely inside the bag, Kaylee carefully sets it down and wraps her arms around Jayne's neck, burying her face in his chest. "Thank you." She says, muffled by his jacket.

Hesitantly, Jayne pats her back. "Weren't nothing, little Kaylee. Anything to put a smile on a pretty face." Kaylee goes to pick up her bag, and humming happily, walks out the door.

When Kaylee has her back turned to him, Jayne reaches out and buys six strawberries, carefully selecting the ripest of them. It's the only stall that sells them on Ariel, and they don't come cheap- he's not going to be able to buy clothing or grease for Vera for the good part of a month, but it's worth it to hear Kaylee squeal in delight when he gives them to her that night.

Her legs dangling over the edge of the cliff, the smallest one in Ariel, she kisses Jayne on the rough cheek before opening the book. The setting sun illuminates the wheat field that they're sitting in, making the stalks look like thin angel arms, reaching to touch them. But suddenly, a frown is cast over her face.

"What?" Jayne asks, confused. "I thought they were your favorite."

Kaylee seems to choke on her own words when she speaks, and it sounds like she's about to cry. Alarmed, Jayne springs back- he hates it when women folk cry. He never could deal with his little sisters when the tears came out.

"You don't have to buy me things to make me happy, Jayne. I would be happy just being with you today." Wiping the tears out of the side of her eyes, she gives him a half smile. "You ain't got to be Simon to please me. I don't need a rich man. I just need you to be my friend, Jayne."

"Your- friend." Jayne bristles. He brings his knees up to his chest, scowling at the lake that shimmered below the pair. "So- I'm like 'nara? Or cap'n Tightpants? Or the two married old birds? Or Book? Or the freak?"

"Jayne, you know I didn't mean-" Kaylee pleads, but Jayne's not finished yet.

"Kaylee, you're a gorramn smart girl, an' pretty too, but sometimes you have a hard time seeing what's in front of your own two eyes. Now, I ain't one for talking, but right now, you an' I need to talk." Jayne grabs her small hand between his two big ones, callused from years of hard labour, and frail from years of not enough food, and in that moment he recognizes something inside himself he didn't imagine possible.

But he keeps going, pressing on. "I'm a good man, Kaylee, maybe not the best, but you could do worse then me, and gorram it, I want you. I like the way you treat people, and I like the way you laugh, and I like a lot more things about you which aren't appropriate to mutter in front of ladyfolk. But most of all, I like the Kaylee that nobody can see, the Kaylee that don't always feel like smiling, but keeps it up anyways because it makes everyone else feel better. I like every last bit of you, Miss Kaylee, even the bits I hate, and I just want to do right by you- mmph!"

Jayne's words are cut off as Kaylee grabs the back of his neck, bringing him in for a hard kiss, which progresses into a soft, exploring one, and Jayne's surprised at his own willingness to not grope her immediately. She tastes like vanilla, a rarity in the 'verse. Kaylee's gentle hands move from his neck to his biceps, and his big hands are resting on her waist, and to be perfectly honest, Jayne Cobb can now die a happy man. When they part, panting, Kaylee rests her forehead on Jayne's and speaks softly.

"You run your mouth too much." She reaches out to touch his chest with slight fingertips, where he's sure his heart is pumping a million miles of blood per hour, and Kaylee feels it beat, looking up at him and smiling.

"Can I- er, can I hold you?" He asks honestly, more honestly then Jayne thought he could ask for anything, and she nods, laughing as he leans back. Kaylee lands on his chest with a soft thump, resting her head there and listening to his heart pound out that same beat. Jayne runs his hands through her hair gently.

"What you thinking about, little Kaylee?" He asks, but there's less of a gruff air then there usually is.

"Oh, you know." Kaylee says, leaning up to kiss him again. "What I'm going to do to Serenity when I get back- what I'm going to do to you when I get back-" Jayne grins devilishly, reaching out for her, but she ducks away, grinning.

"-and just how big that gorram heart of yours is, Mister Cobb."


End file.
